Recently I wrote about shifting things up, practicing an “opposite”, consciously acting in ways contrary to our default behavior and then noticing the impact.
Many of our defaults, our habits, while limiting, are relatively harmless. There is one in particular, I believe, that is especially harmful to the very essence of who we are as human beings, to the heart and soul of humanity.
What is it?
It is the habit of assuming, of mindlessly interacting with others, of moving through our lives with our personal agenda, timetable, priorities at the forefront and totally missing the reality of what stands before us: an emotional, spiritual and physical human being having a totally unique moment. We say “Hi. How are you?” and don’t wait for answer. We make assumptions about what “they” think or what’s important to them or what’s really going on based on past experience. We don’t deeply observe who is here now or listen openly with care to the words being said and the emotion with which they are spoken.
Instead, we proceed thoughtlessly with our personal agenda for the moment, often missing the unspoken meaning of what we’ve heard or even ignoring it because it doesn’t fit with our “plan”.
Unfortunately, this occurs most often in the relationships which are familiar and important: our children, our partner, our best friend. These are the very people we have the most contact with. These are the heart and soul of humanity in our circle of influence.
What would our world be like if each of us was noticed, seen,
heard and loved for who we are?
Think about your primary relationships for a moment. Who really sees and hears and loves YOU? What does that feel like?
Today, consider slowing down, opening up, and being fully present to the people in your life. Drop all assumptions. Give them the gift of connection, of being seen and heard and loved for who they are NOW.
What does real connection feel like?
What’s possible from here?