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Tell A New Story

Your neighbor or coworker has stopped you again and you can hardly believe your ears: isn’t this the hundredth time you’ve heard that story? Yet, when the very next person you see asks how you are, you, also, find yourself sharing again about the difficulties that the economy has made for you and how there simply is never enough money to go around.

How can we possibly move beyond present circumstances if we merely rehash the old ideas and never entertain new ones? And, if we only entertain them, allowing safe passage in one ear and out the other, but not incorporate them into our lives, have they done us any good at all? Continue reading “Tell A New Story”

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Each Day A New Beginning

Another new year has begun! Once again, we begin a cycle of 365 days during which we will:

  • change the number with which we measure our years on earth
  • receive another evaluation at our job
  • create a budget to manage our finances and trust our income will keep up

For many, January 1st is yet one more chance to start anew the diet or exercise routine that promises to be the perfect fix. For some, it means hope; for others, the beginning of another round of hopelessness.

What does January 1st mean for you? What would you like it to mean? Would you like to try something different this year? Continue reading “Each Day A New Beginning”

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The 12 Steps For Relationships

  1. Admitted (recognized, acknowledged, became willing to open to the possibility) that I was powerless over this other person and that wanting to change them was causing me much pain.
  2. After seeking happiness through known methods, mostly by trying to change the other person, became willing to entertain help, a support system, ideas of others, and to believe that trust in others’ experience, strength and hope expressed as action steps on my part, might grant me the peace and joy I seek.
  3. Made a conscious decision to do something different – and to follow the guidance of a power greater than myself.
  4. Regularly bathed my consciousness in the new ideas presented by my Higher Power and my new guidance system, taking time to listen, ask questions and understand, and to contrast this thinking with past and current methods for acting and reacting to life.
  5. Each day, before entering into the world of activity, chose one new action step to take, albeit uncomfortable, and prepared to take that step.
  6. At days’ end or more frequently, paused, and through journaling or observing, noticed how my actions prompted by new ideas are impacting my thoughts, my life, my wellbeing and my happiness.
  7. Became aware of persons in my life who have tried to change me and realized that it doesn’t feel good. I cannot change them; I can change me. With this realization, included such relationships in my action plan of seeking help to learn what I can do and what makes me feel better about me.
  8. Came to see that, in relationship, “when nothing changes, nothing changes.” Yet, when one or both persons change, there will be a shift in the relationship, too, whether or not either person is willing to acknowledge the shift.
  9. Sought through “pause” (prayer and meditation), to become aware of the ways in which the relationships in my life nurture my “becoming” and the ways in which they no longer serve me (or the other person).
  10. Came to see that sometimes, when one or both persons have outgrown a relationship, the relationship must end.
  11. Became willing to draw closure, ever so lovingly, to relationships which have served their purpose, and to move on.
  12. Having realized the power of relationships, the potential for pain as well as the blessings, practiced these steps in all relationships, large and small, in all areas of my life.
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A Fresh Look At Discipline

Does the very word discipline make you cringe? Do visions of childhood rules and limits set by your parents and teachers fill your mind? Are you quick to state that life is too full and too chaotic to consider the forced routine implied by discipline? A quick look at Webster’s and discipline reads like this:

“training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character; control gained by enforcing obedience or order; a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity”

Discipline seems to be guidance from the outside, perhaps forced upon us and not chosen by us. Okay, cringing allowed!

But what if we added “self”? What is self-discipline? Continue reading “A Fresh Look At Discipline”

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For the sake of what?

I am playing with this question for awhile. Here’s the thing. I set this as a topic for a talk I’m giving on January 6, 2013. And as I’ve tried to be with the talk – to create even an outline – I’ve gotten stuck and overwhelmed. What will this one really be about?

Meanwhile, it is the holiday season. And that little fact can also cause overwhelm and confusion. This year, for me, it was low key on the family front with no children at home and no extended family after December 23.

How are these things related? Well, I woke up today realizing that I needed to be with my talk title. Like it or not, you have been invited along for the ride! Ready? Buckled in? Here we go! Continue reading “For the sake of what?”