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Where are you a people-pleaser?

I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt. ~ Jessamyn West, writer

This quotation hit me today as I was about to journal. It seems to speak to the codependency so many suffer from. This “trying to please” isn’t about doing something kind; rather, it is about changing “me” so as not to displease “you”. Jessamyn suggests that this form of hurting others is far more pervasive than intending to cause harm “honestly”. For example: Continue reading “Where are you a people-pleaser?”

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“Come From” Energy

WARNING: Today’s topic is meant to wake you up – jar you a bit – invite you into a deeper level of responsibility for how you show up in the world. Proceed with courage!

Think about a time when you have done something you didn’t want to, perhaps resentfully or grudgingly. Or, recall a time when you were physically present but emotionally and spiritually, perhaps even mentally, “out to lunch”. Or, what about those times when your reason for doing “it” was all about what you would gain – perhaps business or recognition? If it weren’t for the benefits, you so would NOT be there! 

Now, think about a time when you’ve been with someone else whose energy was at a disconnect from their “good” actions. Continue reading ““Come From” Energy”

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AC/DC – What is your communication style?

Have you ever experienced a conversation where you can’t get a word in edgewise? When I’ve been on the receiving end of one, it has felt like someone turned on the hose in the person speaking and its full force is directed at me! It doesn’t feel good. Seems to me this is like “direct current or DC” electricity where power flows in one direction.

It would seem that AC, alternating current, is better, yes?

Well – that depends. Continue reading “AC/DC – What is your communication style?”

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Do you have a Korean tour guide in your head?

Recently, some American journalists traveled to North Korea and were assigned a tour guide for the duration of the visit. The guide denied many of their requests for sightseeing and talking with the locals. They were forced to spend much of their time in the hotel!

It occurred to me that, at times in my life, I have had a “Korean tour guide” living in my head, telling me things like:

You can’t … because it’s not allowed.
Don’t go there, it’s not safe.
Don’t do that, you’ll fail.
Don’t ask questions.

Many such messages began as well-meant guidance from parents, teachers and loved ones. I heeded them and they protected me. As time wore on, however, Continue reading “Do you have a Korean tour guide in your head?”

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Breathe …

How often has someone reminded you to breathe? Usually, it’s when they notice you are racing, off-balance, ungrounded, anxious and likely full of fear. When fear is dominating our thoughts and actions, it is impossible to come from, or to be, love. And love, that open, accepting embrace of self and others, is often precisely what we need more of.

Breathe with me now. Take a long, deep, full breath into your lungs. Let it go. Take another. This time, Continue reading “Breathe …”