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Your Support Team

It takes courage to act on our deep inner knowings and to make fundamental changes in how we live and move and have our being in this world. And, we don’t have to (perhaps dare not!) do this alone. In fact, in addition to gremlin voices (negators who live in our heads), each of us also has a team of inner supporters who believe in us, are ever-present and ready to assist. Our job is to identify the members of our team, hold practice with them regularly, then engage them in the big and small plays of daily life.

A strong team often has these positions (*) filled: the Appreciator, the Listener, the Curious One, the Self Manager, the Intuitive, the Teacher. Your team may have others.

Consider filling your team. Take it easy! Perhaps you focus on one position a day or a week. For each, pause, breathe, turn within and invite your inner wisdom to look in the following places for a likely candidate, one who represents that quality for you: people (past, present, alive or deceased, family, teachers, mentors, friends, foes), fictional characters, animals, a place in your body, a place you’ve been or one you imagine where you can sense the quality, an experience you’ve had.

These questions can help you get acquainted with each team member:

What is your job description?
What is important for me to know about you?
What do you want for me?
What is the special name I should use for you?

Finally, call upon your team regularly!

(*) Positions and questions adapted from the Coaches Training Institute materials

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More on believing…

Yesterday, I spent time with the notion of believing in Santa Claus:

Why Not Believe?

Today I’d like to take that one step further and explore belief in a Higher Power, God, Spirit, Universal Presence, Allah or a teaching such as that of the Buddha.

What value is there in faith traditions?
How does belief impact life?

I guess I can only speak for myself here. My own journey of belief has had a few twists and turns. I started life in a christian tradition and believed in God as the Creator of all life whose love was unconditional and who asked me to be and do good. I think the faith that grounded our family was a very important part of how we showed up in the world as good, hard working, trusting, loving people.

Then, life hit hard and I needed the 12 Step programs which talked about “God as I understand God” and a Higher Power. I think the deep pain in my life required me to believe in a whole new way. Trusting in something outside of myself, taking myself out of the driver’s seat in life, asking for help, softened me. I couldn’t keep doing life alone, my way. Believing that there were other powers in the universe supporting me was a gift.

Since then, I have explored many spiritual traditions and belief systems. I continue to expand and soften. I have experienced the power of meditation, come to understand the richness in the writings of many great spiritual teachers. The more I journey, the more I trust, the easier life becomes. This human life experience has challenges – lots of them! And when I focus only at the level of my humanity and try to solve problems on my own, I fail and life hurts. When I see a wider view, when I trust that we are supported by something bigger: Life, Love, a Master Creator, I let go. I allow life to be what it is – even the painful parts.

If believing is foreign to you, or if your belief system doesn’t support you in the way you’d like it to, stretch! Try something new. Read. Find a spiritual group. Meditate. Try a new church. Whatever you do, know that there is no right or wrong. Belief is personal. Your way can’t look like anyone else’s. Believing “is an inside job”.

What value would you find in believing?
How might your life change?

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Courage

I see a lot of courage in coaching clients and I often call it out. Coaching has the tendency to invoke whole life change from the inside out and that takes tremendous courage! Why? Inside/Out change asks us, among other things, to:

  • become very clear on personal values and make choices which align with them
  • gain clarity on what we want to create with our lives and do what it takes to prepare ourselves to act boldly in service of our visions
  • face our inner demons and fears, old pain and regret, and move forward from the deepest truth and understanding we know in the moment
  • reconsider and revamp – or even release – habits, activities and relationships which do not align with who we come to know ourselves to be

I recently read this quote:

“Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.”
G. K. Chesterton

It makes me ask:

Where is courage leading you?
What vision are you ready to die for?
What in you is ready to die in service of more?

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Silent Souls …

SoulsDesire4By6

Have you ever noticed folks going through the motions of life, perhaps complaining about how mundane, boring, meaningless or hard it is? Perhaps you see lots of action, lots of doing what is expected, seemingly without choice or individuality.

How about you? Do you go through the motions each day, refusing to be your unique, one-of-a-kind, intentional and soulful self?

Today, dare to be different, dare to be you. Dare to inquire of your own soul just who she is, just what he wants to express in this lifetime. Dare to move in your life as you, freely expressing your creativity, your soul’s desire. Do this as a loving act toward yourself!

Notice that there is no need to harm another in this self-expression. In fact, the more you claim YOU, the more you’ll inspire others to claim themselves, to express freely, to love the passionate, purposeful, amazing individuals that they are.

What soul silence will you break today?

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The “Reframe”

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Today’s bit is the “reframe” and it’s simple. Imagine yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable, scary, frustrating, undesirable. Your default plan of action might be to ignore it all, lash out in anger, or find yourself in a pit of depression. You realize that your deepest self, your highest vision of life, desires something else from you. Before taking action, give yourself time to see things differently. Give yourself a few reframes. Ask yourself:

What am I taking for granted?
What am I assuming?
What if this was a gift – how can I receive it?

Consider letting some of these folks create alternative interpretations, plans or reframes:

  • your saboteur
  • your voice of fear
  • your inner controller
  • your inner fixer
  • your inner child
  • your heart
  • your soul

Which reframe will you step into?