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It hurts not to show up!

Not to show up to what? And what does it mean “not to show up”? The what that I’m writing about is just about anything that you avoid. You know: the hard conversations, the person you hope doesn’t see you walk by, the challenge that has been knocking on your doorstep that you are pretending not to see. And the not showing up part? Sometimes this can be quite literal: you simply don’t go, don’t participate. Sometimes it’s less so: you have the conversation but you don’t speak your truth, or, you agree to the challenge but then shortcut the task, yourself and your learning every step of the way.

Do you recognize yourself here at all?
Where?

Continue reading “It hurts not to show up!”

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From “broken” or “whole”?

Many people – MANY PEOPLE – are doing personal development work. Whether in the context of work, physical well-being, as a parent or partner, personal development efforts are helping each of us be more of who we can be and making our world a better place. We are doing this work in many ways: books, teachers, guides, counselors, coaches. Perhaps you’ve tried more than one. Perhaps you’ve been on the journey for many years.

Today’s thought is simple:

How do you approach personal development?

Continue reading “From “broken” or “whole”?”

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What is your default direction?

When you find yourself emotionally uncomfortable, are you likely to:

  • get busy so you can’t feel it?
  • wallow in it?
  • spew its ugliness on everything and everyone around you?
  • feel it fully and let go?
  • go deeper within and watch it dissipate?

Our emotions are messengers. We notice them physically in our bodies as tightness, the shakes, a knowing in the gut or as a general dis-ease in our mind. Once we sense that an emotion is vying for our attention, we can go three basic directions with it: Continue reading “What is your default direction?”

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Acknowledgments…

You are so courageous!
No I’m not! If you only knew how scared I was!
Your impact was profound. 
Oh no. I just did what I always do.
You lead powerfully and with heart.
I’m not a leader!

Have you ever experienced those kinds of responses to acknowledgments you’ve offered? Have you ever been the one denying another’s experience of you? Think about it. Continue reading “Acknowledgments…”

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Self-Reliance

Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous, half possession.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essay II Self-Reliance

I discovered a handwritten version of this quotation in an old journal last week. Once again, it struck me as profound and extremely helpful as I navigate life. Over the years, I have looked outside myself, compared my choices with yours, thought that I should be doing this because you are doing this. I’ve compared my impact with yours, forgetting that you are you and I am me. I’ve forgotten that the reason you are so capable at that has a lot to do with the life experiences you’ve encountered on the road to now.

When I am in the comparing place, I come up short. Continue reading “Self-Reliance”