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(un)Certainty …

Have you ever had the experience of being 100% certain about something only to discover later that you were wrong?

I have!

And while I was holding tightly to what I “knew was right” I was blocked: closed to any ideas to the contrary, closed also to information from my body, emotions, intuition and the world around me.

Certainty, it seems, creates blockage, prevents learning, expansion, change in perspective and growth.

It also creates fear. Why? When I am SO certain that “it” is true, when I am holding so tightly to my world view that nothing else could possibly be valid, right or good, I live in fear of losing “it”.

Certainty breeds fear.

I have heard that there really are only two emotions, Love and Fear, and that love cannot co-exist with fear. Expressed another way, all emotions reside on a spectrum between fear and love:

FEAR … hate … anger … discomfort … contentment … passion … LOVE

Shawn Galloway expresses some choices we have between love and fear in his powerful song, I Choose Love:

If certainty breeds fear, what about uncertainty?

It would seem that uncertainty is a state of not knowing which, if accepted and explored, leans toward expansion and growth.

What helps uncertainty move healthfully toward expansion?

We get curious. And curiosity is an open state – open to new ideas and fresh perspectives. A few days ago, I penned this short poem:

Uncertainty

Uncertainty breeds curiosity.
Curiosity fosters connection.
Connection builds community.
Community nurtures love.
Love heals.

Uncertainty leads through connection to love, which heals. What would unfold in our families if we came together with less certainty and more genuine curiosity this holiday season? What would unfold if we all released some of our certainty about the political and social unrest in our country and allowed for a bit of curiosity, connection, community and love? Will you join me in practicing uncertainty today?

Where are you 100% certain?
How might you shift to 90% certainty?
75%?
50%?

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How Are You?

In March, I invited you to be discerning about how you were nourishing yourself. The questions I posed then are perhaps even more relevant today:

What are you listening to?
What are you taking in to your innermost being?
What are you believing? Fearing? Reacting to?
What are you trusting?
How are you responding?

Please pause now to listen for your answers.

I ask again, how are you? Perhaps, like me, you have experienced some of these: confusion, sadness, frustration, loneliness, anger, connection, love, simplicity, joy. Maybe you have been close to someone who got sick – perhaps even died, alone. If that is so, I am sorry. So sorry. Maybe you’ve been a front-line worker or been deemed “essential” and you just keep going through it all. To you I offer my deepest, most sincere thanks.

Maybe what has you unsettled is the impact of George Floyd’s death and the ensuing protests. Or perhaps it is your own growing awareness of the pain human beings inflict on other human beings. Maybe even a growing awareness of the pain that you inflict on others in thought, word and deed.

Possibly, you have experienced a personal trauma totally unrelated to current events. If so, I hope you have the support you need to move through to the other side. If not, who can you ask? And what is it you most need from them?

Me?

Sometimes it is overwhelm and a feeling of helplessness that is most present. That is, until I remember each of you who is hurting for any of the reasons above (or anything else for that matter). Sure, I have struggled with the changes that the pandemic has brought upon me and my loved ones. And I have struggled to listen, learn and tend to what is mine to do with the life energy and blessings that are mine in this time of intense unrest in our country and this world we share. At times my body has practiced its well-learned depression response. But, with awareness of good health, a loving husband and family, a home and financial security, deep and abiding friendships, trust in a power greater than myself, and a daily gratitude practice, many of my struggles dissolve into nothingness.

Wherever we find ourselves along the spectrum from barely coping to thriving and grateful, we can ask those questions above. If we listen carefully, we just may hear a still, small voice from within or a powerful message from somewhere outside that has the next bit of guidance we need. Perhaps we hear:

Slow down.
Talk less. Listen more.
Consume less.
Take one small action.
Love yourself.
Tell another what you love about them.
Express your gratitude.
Call your Mom.
Learn the truth about “it” from experts.

Thank you. I wish you peace. I wish you hope. I wish for you to know without a doubt that you are loved.

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Everybody’s got more inside of them. Everybody.

TheOnlineSpa is a very new, on-line community where big feelers and generous givers can come to connect, explore and learn about themselves, be nourished and engage with others on the journey. Recently, I had the privilege of being interviewed by friend and colleague, Jonny Richard, co-founder with Ashley Colvin of TheOnlineSpa.com . I share the interview here – and – invite you to check out the community for yourself. It was such fun to have this conversation. Jonny is a phenomenal listener who brought more out of me than I knew was in there!

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Ease in “Abundance”

Ease in Abundance

Abundance — another way of saying “too busy”, “overwhelm”, “get me outta here!” When her life seems overly full with simple to-do’s, work engagements or just plain life happenings, my friend and mindfulness teacher, Joy Jordan, uses the term “abundance” to describe the situation.

In addition to this simple, beautiful reframe, I’d like to offer you ideas for finding Ease in Abundance. The next time you find yourself in an “abundant” time, try: Continue reading “Ease in “Abundance””

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How do you see?

We are only capable of seeing from our own state of consciousness.
~ Adyashanti

Have you ever tried to explain something deeply important to you and       found the listener totally unable to grasp the essence?

On the other hand, have you experienced the gift of someone who is right there with you, and can even help you see your next steps? For instance:

  • A teacher who has great impact is able to meet you where you are, see from your current perspective, then draw you forth to take in and learn from a wider view.
  • An empathic individual feels what you feel, meets you where you are emotionally, and only then, if you desire, guides you forward.
  • A good physical trainer does the same – evaluates where you are and offers the exercise plan which will step you forward.

Have you ever put yourself physically at the level of a child
and seen the world from their perspective?

Today, each time you witness something wildly different from your “sensibilities”, remember:

I see from my experiential viewpoint.

Then ask yourself:

  • What is it that has this person doing, saying or thinking “that”?
  • What would have this thing created in this “strange” way?

Rather than, “different – wrong” consider:

Different – Of course!

We all see, create and choose from our personal, unique perspective. Some of us are able to “put ourselves in another’s shoes” and see as they see. Some of us, not so much.

A friend or family member, teacher or mentor, who can “see as you see” is a precious gift. The gift is even more precious if they are wise enough not to judge or try to change or convince, force you to be/think/believe what you are not ready to embrace.

My greatest expansion has come from an invitation to the “new” from a trusted source – one who has met me first where I am.

Who in your life “meets you where you are”?

What would free you to meet others “where they are”?