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Begin with your thoughts …

All creation begins in thought. Before the creation appears, the creator thinks about it, ponders how it will be made, molds ideas in his or her mind. If I am creating by myself, then it is just fine to think about “it” until the time is right, then take action.

But, consider another scenario. You and I are in relationship. I think for months about our intention to go on a vacation. I imagine all the places I want us to go, what we will do there, what it will be like. I am ready to make reservations and I come to you with: “I am so excited. We will do … and you’ll just love … Let’s make the reservations today.” 

Are you as excited as I am? Possibly not. Co-creation? I don’t think so. If we wait until we have a “ready to go” idea … and try to sell it, we’ll likely not get the buy in we hope for.

If you desire to co-create with another human being, then share the journey from the beginning, the imperfect, not ready for prime time thoughts that you are having. Avail yourself of an opportunity to create more expansively – to create from a merging of ideas! It’s quite possible that one plus one does equal three!

What thoughts need to be shared today?

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Where is your focus?

Do you ever catch yourself passing judgment “at first glance” or “judging a book (or a person) by its cover”?

Old phrases, yes. Yet I bring them up to invite you into a new focus practice. Imagine moving through your days, activities, connections with others in this way:

  • Meet
  • Pause to close your eyes to the outer and breathe in to the inner
  • Stay and respond

What does this mean? It means that whatever the outer circumstance, the visual, the situation you are tempted to react to, you do not react. Rather, you pause and shift your focus deeper and respond from here.

Where is your focus only surface level?
How would you respond from a deeper focus?
What are you willing to practice today?

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HAVE-DO-BE or BE-DO-HAVE in relationship?

Often we desire to have “something” and do what it takes to get “it”. Once we have “it”, we be with it:

Have – Do – Be

Yesterday, it occurred to me how this may not work in relationships. I want to have a healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship so I go looking to get it. Once I have it, I am happy in it.

Consider this shift:

Be – Do – Have

If I desire that healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship then my first step is to be  the happy, joyful, loving person who does things that reflect that happy, joyful, loving person I am. From there, my partner in relationship, who has received happy, joyful, love can’t help but reciprocate at which point I have a happy, joyful, loving relationship, yes?

Over-simplified? Perhaps. But:

Where might you choose to BE first?
What do you notice when you do?

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Tell Me More

Yesterday, my first and impulsive reaction to a request was “No” and I stated it. The questioner continued to bounce ideas, stay on his path. By the end of the conversation, I found myself agreeing to the original request with a slight twist.

But my energy was a NO for a long time! And that didn’t feel good. You see, I could have paused long enough to remember that we had the same end goal in mind before responding in a new way:

  • Silence my “no” and ask, “Tell me more. What’s the goal?”
  • Voice my “no” with “Wow, I find myself wanting to reject your idea without hearing more. Please, tell me more.”

Either of these is an opening to connection where “No” is like slamming a door in another’s face.

What relationship in your life could use more connection?
How would “Tell me more” impact conversation?

This is not a new topic so please forgive the repetition unless, like me, you need the lesson repeated! Here is a link to a former post on this topic:

About Yes and No

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What Do You Observe?

Let’s apply peeling back the layers in one more way. When first impressions- of other people or activities – are grey or undesirable, stop. Peel back that first reaction. Breathe in deeply.

What do you observe now?
What is present beneath your judgment?

If that layer is still focused on the “other”, try again. Stop. Breathe. Peel it back. Peel back the layers until you observe you: your part in the situation, your attitude, your fear. This is the layer where you have complete control and can respond rather than react.

What do you observe now?