Celebrating Fathers

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Today is a day set aside to honor those who have served as father figures in our lives. For some, this is Dad. For others, it may not be. Some of us are celebrating the father that guided our children. Whoever you may be honoring today, consider asking yourself:

  • What qualities do I most admire in this father figure?
  • What lessons did I learn?
  • What am I most grateful for?

Then, if you are so fortunate that you can connect with this person, please tell them! If not, perhaps today you recommit to bringing their qualities and values alive in your life.

Are you “conversation avoidant”?

UnveilingYouConversation

Bring to mind a situation, relationship, belief that both challenges you and that you are ready to experience shift around.  

Got it?  Now:

  • What conversation are you avoiding?
  • What is it costing you?
  • How does it serve you to avoid having the conversation?
  • What do you care about?
  • What are you committed to?
  • By when?

The Greatest Gift

Recently I wrote about giving and receiving:

The Circle of Giving … and Receiving!

Both are so very important.  Today I share a perspective on giving and would love to hear your thoughts:

The greatest gift I can give another human being is a pointer to their own self-love, self-acceptance, self-trust, self-honoring, self-respect. There is no gift, no object, no anything short of you expanding your love of you that has as much impact, value and longevity.

When I trust and respect myself enough to be responsible for my well-being and my impact, I am free to love, to let you be you, to expand into my full expression. When I instead look to others for assurance that I am okay, when I expect you to take care of me, when I refuse to be responsible for the only person in the world that I am 100% responsible for, then we all lose.

The greatest gift I can offer you is a gentle mirror that shows you the beauty that you are.

Who needs you to be a mirror today?

Mirror

The Circle of Giving … and Receiving!

I was visited this weekend – again – by the challenge of receiving acknowledgments. Oh, I am aware that when someone pays me a compliment, I am to say “Thank you”. There is no need to minimize what I did, return the compliment, and certainly no value in refusing the message, the compliment, the gift that I am being given.

That said, I found myself once again in that place of refusal, a bit embarrassed that “you” had seen my talents and were paying me a compliment. After a long, deep and teary exploration with a dear friend, I have discovered a deeper meaning for myself about the “circle of giving”. Twelve years ago, I wrote these lyrics:

Circle of Giving (video)

Today, I share my expanding understanding of the giving cycle. Beyond the fact that the act of giving gifts the receiver and the giver, the act of receiving also gifts the giver and the receiver. Consider these steps in the cycle:

  1. I give
  2. You receive
  3. You incorporate the gift
  4. You acknowledge how the gift impacted  you
  5. I receive your acknowledgment and am nourished – this giving/receiving cycle is complete
  6. I give again, aware of how my giving impacts others
  7. You give from an expanded, changed you

Another way of putting it is this:

I You
Give
Receive and Incorporate
Give Acknowledgment
Receive and am Nourished
Give From Restored and Whole Give From Expanded and Changed

The big piece for me is this: Your gift of acknowledgment nourishes my giving heart, lets me know that I am valued and valuable. Your gift to me is no less than, is just as vital, as my gift to you. 

My intention moving forward is to pause before responding – pause long enough to open my heart to receive your powerful gift of gratitude and let me be changed by you.

What acknowledgment is yours to receive today?

Perception is Reality

That statement is very powerful. I might re-state it like this:

The world I see is filtered through my thoughts, experiences, awareness, emotions. It can NEVER be the world you see.

How I see, my perception, is reality to me. The challenge I face is in accepting that you see everything (including me) filtered through your lenses, your perception of reality. What you see is not what I see.

The gift here is that what I see, what I am perceiving now, is not the only way to see “it”. I can change my lenses at any time and see differently!

  • Is this situation stressful or an opportunity to let go?
  • Is the child’s behavior disruptive or is it an expression of her becoming who she really is?
  • Is the gift from a dear friend totally insensitive as “she knows I don’t like that” or is it her absolute best at expressing love?

Today, I invite you to carry several sets of eye glasses with you. In any situation, try on multiple lenses.

What other ways can you perceive what is happening now?
What version of reality will you embrace?