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Do you suffer from Multipotentiality?

Do you have many interests? Many talents and skills? Have difficulty choosing what to focus on now? Recently I heard a great TEDx talk where Emilie Wapnick described multipotentiality, a word I’d never heard before:

And it resonated! Personally, I have followed passions around computer programming, songwriting, making music with voice, guitar, keyboard and flute, deep friendships, leadership, family, personal development, spirituality, health and well-being, life coaching. I’ve changed careers. And here I am writing to you! Some days, I wonder:

Who am I?
What should I do today?

As a life coach, I invite you to dig deep and identify personal values, discern what brings fulfillment, discover passion or calling and head toward it!

Yet, that can be a very hard thing to do!

Especially if, like me, you have too many passions to choose from!

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to! Especially in this fast paced, ever changing world we live in, it is quite likely that you will need to change direction numerous times throughout your lifetime. Even if you don’t change discipline as I did from technology to life coaching, your chosen area of interest or passion will probably be expressed in ever changing ways.

Are you a multipotentialite? If so, embrace it! Celebrate all the ways you are able to show up and contribute to life, be creative, earn a living, play!

And when it feels like too much, or you struggle to make a decision about where to focus, ask yourself:

What is calling to me now?
What can wait?
What must I put on hold for now?
What path might incorporate multiple interests?
What, if done first, paves the way for something else?

Finally, breathe! Release the struggle. Remember that you can always change your mind. Above all else, whatever you choose for now, focus. You really can’t do two things at once. Multipotentiality is real. Multitasking – not so much!

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Prejudice

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While traveling awhile back, I decided that I would walk through the airport, singing, smiling, and attempting to make eye contact with those passing by. Very few folks, men and women alike, do so. Most are staring into the distance or into electronic gadgets or, in response to noticing my gaze, immediately turn away. I continue, a bit saddened by our lack of connection.

Then I sit. Waiting for my plane, I notice the eyes of a man gazing at me. And I immediately divert my own eyes. What is that about?

Embarrassed at my reaction, I know that it is prejudice, fear, the idea that a man (as opposed to a woman) could hurt me or have bad intentions.

I feel like a sitting duck. Yet, minutes ago, I was walking through the airport subjecting others to my gaze, knowing that I had only “good” intentions.

I must ask myself:

  • In what ways do I make others uncomfortable?
  • Is my behavior rude, rather than a gift?
  • What about my own prejudices?
  • What part is wisdom and safety?
  • What is simply unfair prejudice toward a fellow human being?

I am continuing on my journey. I commit to remaining aware of my inner judgments. I commit to question them and release all that is in me which prevents me from being one with you at the center of my being.

What is your intention?

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In Search of Balance

Do you ever notice in yourself a very strong pull of masculine energy? It is characterized by inner voices, often repeating messages from our outer realities, which say:

  • Do more
  • Not enough
  • Not good enough
  • Keep going, there is no time to stop
  • Your feelings don’t matter

And the voices continue non-stop if we allow them.

Yet there is another energy, another voice, a feminine, grounded, centering, sensitive, intuitive side in us all. The feminine energy speaks in these ways:

  • What are you feeling?
  • What would be easeful?
  • What does your inner wisdom know?
  • What rest do you need?
  • What answer awaits your receptivity?

You may relate to these energies as the yin and yang, symbolized here:

The Yin-Yang Symbol

Notice the balance and flow. The feminine yin merges into the masculine yang, white into black, flow and balance. You may believe that one is better than the other. I’d like to invite you into an exploration of both. Whether you are man or woman, you possess and need both energies. If this idea is foreign, or if you are aware of the concept yet are challenged to embrace both energies with your life,  I invite to read more about it. I also recommend this book though it is written from the perspective of woman needing to understand the value of the inner masculine and use it to reconnect with her inner feminine:

Consider it an introduction to a way of being that honors all of you and welcomes a yin, or feminine infused yang into your life. And a feminine, yin energy that is supported by its yang counterpart. From this place, you are free to choose:

What aspects of the masculine do I need now?
How would feminine energy serve this situation?
In what ways am I out of balance?
In what ways have I allowed either energy to go unchecked, unconsciously controlling my actions?

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When my choice impacts you …

Challenges Ahead

How are you when the decision you face holds the potential for major impact on those around you? Perhaps it’s  the decision to divorce or change jobs or move far away from family. Likely you don’t make these decisions lightly. But do you:

  • Build a case your head why the current situation (or the people in it) is bad and you have to run the other direction?
  • Worry about what they will think and how they will feel and perhaps ignore the voice in your gut that knows what you need?
  • Get stuck in thinking and rethinking and trying to figure out how to make it good for everyone involved?

Here’s the hard truth. There will most likely be folks who dislike your actions, are negatively impacted by your choices, who think you have betrayed them. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot fix or take care of them. Period. Plus, they have the power to choose how they respond, how they feel, how they react to your choice.

The next time you face a major decision, try this out:

  1. Ask yourself: If no one else was impacted, what is my truth here? What is my gut telling me to do?
  2. Try on other scenarios. What does it feel like in you to go against your gut? What regrets might you hold if you chose one of these?
  3. Separate your feelings from your gut knowing. Take time to be with your own sadness or discomfort, dis-ease or fear. Acknowledge how you feel and know that feelings are meant to guide us. They may be a warning suggesting we stay put. They may be a challenge inviting us to move forward through our fear.
  4. Take time to be aware of how you think others will be impacted. Then know that you could be wrong! Also, consider seeing them as strong and capable of taking care of themselves, perhaps even expanding into more of who they can be in your absence.
  5. Know who your safe others are, persons who can be objective and who care about you, and bounce ideas off of them. You alone, however, make the final decision and must be responsible for your impact.

If, after all of this, your decision is one with major impact, let your compassionate, wise, loving, caring self be gentle but firm in the message delivery. Speak your truth clearly yet honestly, honoring yourself and the other. Be open to the impact but don’t take it personally. Caring for others doesn’t mean we never disappoint them or do things which cause them to feel anger or hurt or fear. If we really care, we see them as fully empowered to move through their emotions, getting the support they need, and growing through the situation.

No one said a life which includes deeply caring about others as well as ourselves was going to be easy. In fact, it can be one of the most courageous things we’ll ever do! Yet, I wonder:

Is there really any other way?

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With the baby …

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I recently spent two days with my two month old grandson. It was the gift of full presence (most of the time!). I really focused on him – what his demeanor seemed to be saying about his needs in that moment. I wanted to understand him, respond to his requests and receive the gift of his spirit which kept on shining.

What I noticed as I returned to “life as usual” is how challenging it is to be fully present, to notice what is really here now, what my body and spirit need now, what is showing up in my spouse now. Rather, so quickly the list returned to front and center and I heard: “What needs to be accomplished now?” ringing in my head.

What is the both/and here?
How can I be with what is really here AND do what needs to be done?

Here are a few things that showed up in the space following that question:

  1. Breathe
  2. Breathe again
  3. Ask – answer – and fulfill- the questions: What does my physical body need now? My emotional body? My spirit?
  4. Return to the list. What really needs to happen today? Remove or reschedule the rest.
  5. Now, select and complete one task – then repeat step 3.
  6. Repeat step 5 over and over and over again as the day unfolds. Oh, and don’t forget to breathe!

What works for you to be both PRESENT and DOING?