Yesterday I wrote about the space:
The Space
and encouraged those of us who are struggling and overwhelmed during this time of extreme stress to pause and be with the silence “between” and to listen in the space.
Today I share a bit about listening. In our country, in the world, in our communities, in our relationships … people are craving to be heard. There is no doubt about that. Yet, in our craving to be heard, many of us are speaking without listening. We are speaking with words, with emotion and with action. Sometimes, it’s powerful and helpful. Sometimes, it is noise or worse, very damaging.
Each one of us needs to expand on and to practice deep listening skills. We can begin with yesterday’s message that suggests we listen within, to our own heart and soul. Then, listen outside of ourselves. Listen without needing to respond. Listen without personalizing the message, interpreting according to our understanding and planning our comeback. Listen. Listen with every part of our beings. Feel the truth of the other’s message.
What if each of us were to do more listening than speaking today?
As a life coach, listening is one of five core qualities inherent in good coaching. We listen at levels deeper than the average person but everyone can expand their listening muscle. Read the lyrics below. Notice where you find yourself on the listening scale. Are you at level one? Do you already practice skills associated with level two or three?
I Listen Well
Do you listen to the body, hear the message in the breath?
Do you sense the energy that either flows or now is trapped?
Do you find that deep within you know a truth that’s not been said?
Or do you just to words respond and listen with your head?
And after you have heard your client to the point of pause,
it’s time for you from deep within to engage in your response.
And then be sure to listen to the impact! Stay tuned in!
For now is not the time to wonder what you’d do instead!
Listening at level one I’m hearing everything you’ve done.
And I respond, “You won’t believe –
I’ve done the same and more you see!”
I’m listening at level one.
Listening at level two there’s really only me and you.
We’re in a bubble and I sense
all that you say and don’t express!
I’m listening at level two.
Listening at level three the whole wide world I sense and see.
The force field is alive!
My intuition knows: I let it guide!
I’m listening at level three.
I clarify, articulate. And metaphorically I state:
suggest a meta-view and I acknowledge what I see in you!
I listen to the body, hear the message in the breath.
I sense the energy that either flows or now is trapped.
I find that deep within I know a truth that’s not been said.
I listen now beyond the words and use more than my head.
And after I have heard my client to the point of pause,
I naturally from deep within engage in my response.
Aware with eyes, ears, mind and heart; with taste and yes, with smell…
I do not miss the moment; as a coach I listen well!
What one way will you expand your listening today?
What will you listen to that you have previously ignored?
What do you notice when deep listening precedes your response?
