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More on believing…

Yesterday, I spent time with the notion of believing in Santa Claus:

Why Not Believe?

Today I’d like to take that one step further and explore belief in a Higher Power, God, Spirit, Universal Presence, Allah or a teaching such as that of the Buddha.

What value is there in faith traditions?
How does belief impact life?

I guess I can only speak for myself here. My own journey of belief has had a few twists and turns. I started life in a christian tradition and believed in God as the Creator of all life whose love was unconditional and who asked me to be and do good. I think the faith that grounded our family was a very important part of how we showed up in the world as good, hard working, trusting, loving people.

Then, life hit hard and I needed the 12 Step programs which talked about “God as I understand God” and a Higher Power. I think the deep pain in my life required me to believe in a whole new way. Trusting in something outside of myself, taking myself out of the driver’s seat in life, asking for help, softened me. I couldn’t keep doing life alone, my way. Believing that there were other powers in the universe supporting me was a gift.

Since then, I have explored many spiritual traditions and belief systems. I continue to expand and soften. I have experienced the power of meditation, come to understand the richness in the writings of many great spiritual teachers. The more I journey, the more I trust, the easier life becomes. This human life experience has challenges – lots of them! And when I focus only at the level of my humanity and try to solve problems on my own, I fail and life hurts. When I see a wider view, when I trust that we are supported by something bigger: Life, Love, a Master Creator, I let go. I allow life to be what it is – even the painful parts.

If believing is foreign to you, or if your belief system doesn’t support you in the way you’d like it to, stretch! Try something new. Read. Find a spiritual group. Meditate. Try a new church. Whatever you do, know that there is no right or wrong. Belief is personal. Your way can’t look like anyone else’s. Believing “is an inside job”.

What value would you find in believing?
How might your life change?

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The Space …

I’ve been struggling. So much going on. So much action and reaction. So many emotions. So strong. So much confusion. So much pain. So much anger.

I have lost myself in all of it. Can you relate? Maybe not. But just in case you can, I offer these lyrics. They suggest some focus on and resting within the spaces – the spaces between stimulus and response, between emotion and reaction, between the in breath and the out breath, between each thought. It is in the space, the silence, where we encounter our truth and the courage to live it.

In The Space

In the space, in the space between each task…
In the space when I take the time to ask…
In that space, that precious space, I relax.

In the space, in the space between my words…
In the space where I pause and breathe, discern…
In that space, that sacred space, I learn.

In the space, in the space between my thoughts…
In the space where I know I am not lost…
In that space, that peaceful place, I am taught.

In the space, in the space between my fears…
In the space where I feel pure love, so dear…
In that space, in sweet embrace, I hear.

In the space, in the silence of my soul…
In the space, I’ve released my false control.
In this space, this resting place, I am whole.

                                   Jeanne Loehnis, 2008

What awaits you in the space?
What if you spent time there?
What would shift in you? 

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Do you check on the roots?

roots

If you are reading this, I suspect you live with intention.  If I asked:

What seeds have you planted for this leg of your life journey?

I suspect you would answer one or more of these questions with a yes:

Are you deep in business building or personal transformation?
Are you devoted to grandchildren or caring for your parents?
Are you giving special attention to your relationships?
Are you developing a talent through regular practice and training?

Whatever it is, I wonder how often:

  • you question if you really should be focusing your energy *here*
  • you worry about what isn’t getting your attention
  • you think your aren’t doing enough, getting *here* fast enough

If these sound familiar, then you have planted a seed and are checking on the roots, digging it up to see what’s happening below the surface.

Guess what? Plants don’t grow real well this way!

Neither to dreams and goals, those big visions we have. Today, and every day, consider adding a huge dose of trust in the process. You live with intention, remember?  You chose this focus after much evaluation and discernment. You set a plan in place and have been taking action steps that fit your goal. Today, take the next step. Celebrate completion. Smile. Rest. Tomorrow? Repeat!

If you must check on your progress, then put a date on your calendar for the next root check. Depending on your focus, that date might be 1 or 3, 6 or even 12 months down the road.  Then forget it!

What would a dose of trust do for you today?

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When my choice impacts you …

Challenges Ahead

How are you when the decision you face holds the potential for major impact on those around you? Perhaps it’s  the decision to divorce or change jobs or move far away from family. Likely you don’t make these decisions lightly. But do you:

  • Build a case your head why the current situation (or the people in it) is bad and you have to run the other direction?
  • Worry about what they will think and how they will feel and perhaps ignore the voice in your gut that knows what you need?
  • Get stuck in thinking and rethinking and trying to figure out how to make it good for everyone involved?

Here’s the hard truth. There will most likely be folks who dislike your actions, are negatively impacted by your choices, who think you have betrayed them. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot fix or take care of them. Period. Plus, they have the power to choose how they respond, how they feel, how they react to your choice.

The next time you face a major decision, try this out:

  1. Ask yourself: If no one else was impacted, what is my truth here? What is my gut telling me to do?
  2. Try on other scenarios. What does it feel like in you to go against your gut? What regrets might you hold if you chose one of these?
  3. Separate your feelings from your gut knowing. Take time to be with your own sadness or discomfort, dis-ease or fear. Acknowledge how you feel and know that feelings are meant to guide us. They may be a warning suggesting we stay put. They may be a challenge inviting us to move forward through our fear.
  4. Take time to be aware of how you think others will be impacted. Then know that you could be wrong! Also, consider seeing them as strong and capable of taking care of themselves, perhaps even expanding into more of who they can be in your absence.
  5. Know who your safe others are, persons who can be objective and who care about you, and bounce ideas off of them. You alone, however, make the final decision and must be responsible for your impact.

If, after all of this, your decision is one with major impact, let your compassionate, wise, loving, caring self be gentle but firm in the message delivery. Speak your truth clearly yet honestly, honoring yourself and the other. Be open to the impact but don’t take it personally. Caring for others doesn’t mean we never disappoint them or do things which cause them to feel anger or hurt or fear. If we really care, we see them as fully empowered to move through their emotions, getting the support they need, and growing through the situation.

No one said a life which includes deeply caring about others as well as ourselves was going to be easy. In fact, it can be one of the most courageous things we’ll ever do! Yet, I wonder:

Is there really any other way?