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Are you REALLY an independent thinker?

Stop and think with me: What is it that drives most of your decision making, your actions, your beliefs? Do you consider yourself to be independent, freely choosing your thoughts and responses? Or, are your thoughts the by-product of decades of conditioning from society, family, religion, political persuasions, co-workers, authors …? You get the the idea.  How often, if ever, do you really make an independent choice, one that is totally free of the influence of “other”?

Is it even possible?

Each of us has come to this point in our lives having been “fed” ideas formed by the world around us: our country of origin, the family religion (or lack thereof), societal norms, our race, our financial well-being, the books or music we’ve chosen or which were popular at the time. And we have, most likely, formed opinions about life based on all of this! My question today:

Are you REALLY an independent thinker?

might be restated as: Continue reading “Are you REALLY an independent thinker?”

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What do LISTEN and SILENT have in common?

Today I read a short article on the value of good listening skills which included this bit: Have you ever noticed that LISTEN and SILENT are formed from the same letters?

WOW! I hadn’t. Yet, real listening asks us to put a hold on speaking, to be silent and really hear what the other has to say, without interrupting to express an idea, ask a question, give advice.

How silent is your listening?

Let’s go a bit deeper. Continue reading “What do LISTEN and SILENT have in common?”

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Forget It!

Forget what? Forget the questions, the thoughts, the fears or worries which loop endlessly in your mind consuming CPU cycles and draining your battery. You know them:

What if that happens?
What’s he doing now?
How can I keep from …?
What will they think if …?
What do I need to do to fix it?

We do it all the time. We are constantly planning, conniving, predicting, solving “problems” which haven’t happened yet and trying to change what we can’t control. Perhaps we think that by “being with it in our mind” we are actually doing good.

Yes, sometimes we are given an idea in our thoughts which, when acted upon, has positive impact. And there is a time and place for thinking about solutions to things. There is even value in “holding a question in the background – loosely” and letting our intuition “work on it”.

However, all too often, we consume our life energy with planning and projections while the world about us and the “players” in the “situation”, are changing. We are losing our serenity and maybe even our sanity by living in our heads.

Today’s invitation: Continue reading “Forget It!”

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When has a good practice gone sour?

I didn’t journal today. I’ve journaled regularly, often daily, for 15 years. The practice has helped me clear my mind, understand life, discover creativity. I’ve suggested this practice to clients and friends.

Yet, today I didn’t write. Yesterday, my husband suggested that, just maybe, all that inner reflection was a cause – rather than a cure – for morning feelings of depression.

“But, no! It helps! I can’t stop. This practice has been so good for me over the years. Besides, I’ve suggested it to others. I can’t back away without looking or feeling out of integrity.” Continue reading “When has a good practice gone sour?”

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Pack. Unpack. Resettle. Oh My!

I took a short vacation last week. As my friend and I were loading the car to return home, I said: “The part of vacation I don’t care for is the packing, unpacking and resettling.” And she, another life coach, looked at me and repeated:

Pack — Unpack — Resettle

Isn’t that what many of us do on this life journey? We pack in experiences and information. Then, at some point we step back, pause and unpack it. We try to make sense of it all by comparing these new bits to the existing bits in our brains and memory banks. We move some old thoughts aside, revise others, let go of what no longer fits. Ah… Continue reading “Pack. Unpack. Resettle. Oh My!”