Recently, I wrote about flexibility in our “balance” which is needed even when what we desire is constancy:
And balance, the life balance that suggests healthy sleep, exercise and foods, right amounts or work and play, rest and activity, is promoted as good and wise and a helpful part of a happy life. But …
… what about when we are called to big change – perhaps a new job, moving to a new location or expanding the family? Feeling balance in the midst would be great! Yet, imagine making those changes from the balance (albeit flexible) of tree pose:
How do we change when so much energy and focus is needed to stay in balance? On the flip side, what happens when we forget about healthy balance and just go full steam ahead into the change?
I’ve tried it both ways and neither works real well. Personally, I need a measure of well-being, balance of old and new, known and unknown, stability and change, in order to effect change in my life. When I let go of stabilizing forces altogether or change too much at once, I crash and burn. I am not effective where I was – and I’m certainly not achieving the change I’m aiming toward.
If you are like me, consider these thoughts about balance in the midst of change:
- Know yourself. What are your minimum requirements to feel well? 8 hrs of sleep? One healthy meal a day? One half day of quiet alone time to regroup each week? Whatever your minimum requirements are, mark them – and whatever it takes to achieve them – in your planner or on your to-do list. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself down!
- Take internal personal inventory. We learned in part I that even balance requires flexibility. Where are you overly rigid, stubborn, or attached to how something must be? What breadth of micro-adjustment or flexibility could you play with in these areas that might help you flow with change more easily?
- Look at life as a whole. In life coaching we use a balance wheel to invite the client to look at the big areas of life (relationships, creativity, work, spirituality, etc.). Overall, life feels bumpy when some parts of life get all of us and some are ignored. Yet, when big change is happening in one area, we might need to set something aside – for now. If you know that the big change you seek is the direction you want to travel in, then what other things might need to take a back seat for awhile? If they involve other people, talk about it! Get clear and then share with others your intention. Consider, “Friend, I am in the midst of ‘this change’ and will not be able to keep our monthly lunch date for the next six months. Know that I value our relationship but for now cannot be with you in this way. Thank you for understanding.” Then mark your calendar for six months down the road to reconnect with and update this friend.
What big change are you in the midst of?
What shift would support you on the journey?